You're Never Too Old To Learn

Saturday, May 28, 2011
It's been exactly two weeks since my surgery.  I'm feeling pretty good.  One incision gives me a twinge on occasion but otherwise, everything else seems fine.

Things I have learned the last two weeks.

1.  Hospitals are not good places to "get well".  You are already feeling icky and they poke you, prod you, drain enough blood from you to feed a family of vampires, wake you up every hour to see if you are ok, feed you food not even the dog would eat, inject you with chemicals that make you burn from the inside out (contrast dye), make you lie on that awful adjustable bed that you can never get into the right position to sleep.  You leave sore, bruised, starving and  sleep deprived.

Does that even look comfortable?

2.  It's fun to cook when The Greek chops all the ingredients and I only have to do the actual cooking.  He also did all the cleaning and since I couldn't bend over, he picked up everything I managed to drop on the floor, like half a pantry shelf and a half box of noodles.  (I did catch the empty box before it hit the floor, so don't say I'm not the helpful sort)  Also being starved makes me a more enthusiastic cook.

3.  I have stomach muscles after all.  After 3 kids and everything else, I figured they were non-existent.  Believe me I felt them every time I tried to sit up or get out of bed.

4.  Ice cream really does make one feel better.  I'm not a huge ice cream fan, I can take it or leave it.  A scoop each of Ben and Jerry's Coconut Layer Bar (Coconut Ice Cream with Coconut & Fudge Flakes, Walnuts and Swirls of Graham Cracker & Butterscotch) and Late Night Snack (Vanilla Bean Ice Cream with a Salty Caramel Swirl & Fudge Covered Potato Chip Clusters)  made me a happy camper.  In a waffle cone bowl, please!

5.  When you are given the "no sex" order it is not fun to have to watch a commercial letting you know that K-Y Yours and Mine gives her an amazing sensation in her.... and him a thrilling sensation in his...and when they come together...BAM.  Yeah, no bam for me.  Bum - mer.  I swear they ran this every single commercial break on Hulu this past week.  Please bring back my sexy Stella Artois commercial with Adrian Brody.  Sigh...ok... maybe that's not a good thing to be watching yet either.

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